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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the safe haven for daily publications, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and milestones, particularly within football. Readers were entertained to find out that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Spare a thought for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room rather too directly, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity with Manchester City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college for toilet purposes in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss by Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, saying quietly: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? A Dr Seuss verse exists called ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|